walking in the dark

Im one man to make a difference
I’m one soul all persistence
In a dark word, just trying to make things right
Choices we weren’t given
Any heroes, and our decision
Is to stand up and fight for ourselves

To be free
Is all we want to be
When everything seems so far out of reach
But I know, no matter where we go
I’ll never stop believing in me

Woke up bent and broken
Just to find that fate has spoken
All I call out I call out for change
For every moment that remains
For every sinking stone to find its place
Long before they’re washed away

We’ve been giving in to wrong
We’ve been waiting for too long
And we’ve been broken to pieces one by one

We’re gonna know
We’re gonna know
When the moment comes

- the calling

it must have been my lucky day. for the first time, i didn’t feel nervous at all.

im happy. i finally have something to do. a deviation from my usual routine.

congrats, joey!!!

i can’t last a day without listening to my favorite songs. thanks to technology i can listen to music anytime anywhere..

heard of keane? they’re the one’s who sang everybody’s changing and somewhere only we know. still nothing? look them up (hehehe)!

actually, i don’t like them that much until i encounter the song, we might as well be strangers and im easily hooked up.

lyrics go like this.

I don’t know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don’t know your face no more
It’s just a place I’m looking for

I don’t know your thoughts these days
We’re strangers in an empty space
I don’t understand your heart
It’s easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well be strangers..

how very fragile a heart can be. so easily broken, so very hard to mend..

and when your heart gets broken you are left shattered. you feel like all your emotions left you. you are left confused. you don’t know who and what to believe anymore. you feel like everything is a lie. you begin to question happy endings. you even doubt yourself if you’re still capable of loving. you learn to be bitter. until..

you fall in love again. and then you begin to see the world in a different light. your face glow and you start to sing love songs again..

yeah i’ll fall in love again. but then maybe, just maybe, it will still be SSDD.

its been 580 days since i first used that word for the first time. how could i be able to explain the mixed emotions i have in finding something i never thought of, but damn feels right having it? beautiful chaos.

for a long time i’ve been happy and content, until judgement day came. im still wishing its a bad dream, but no amount of denial could ever change what happened. the pain is real. the tears are real..

i may be living, but a part of me is dead. then i said i’d rather die. to escape everything. but i choose to continue living. it already happened. when i stick around, i can make a new start..

so here i am with the remains of what i call beautiful chaos. looking forward and not looking back. trying not to be knocked out by pain and trying not to be drowned by tears.

i am me. i am strong.

one of the things i missed after graduation is the time i spend at the chapel. i could jst last a day there. sitting and thinking a lot of things through. it is the only place i can find peace..

never did i doubt the power of prayer. it is the kind of conversation where i don’t feel hesitant to say my heart’s content..

God really answers prayers in His own perfect time. but i have noticed, everytime He answers mine, He takes something valuable away from me..