it seems like everything in my life have been a cycle. from falling in love until it fails. falling in love again and then..
i stopped questioning things. i came to accept that these happens for a reason. a reason i still can’t see until now..
but what good did it bring us? we became wiser. more wise to be able to handle things when we fall in love again and fail..
i find it hard to sleep these past few nights. i have been thinking a lot - things to do and not to do..
CROWDED! in chaos. that’s the current status of my mind..
when was the last time i have been in peace? ahh. i can’t remember anymore. all i know was that, it was ages ago..
everything have been in a fast forward mode since i started working here in Boracay. things happened so fast that some things have been out of my control. then things went from so right to so wrong..
but i’m finally back on track and slowly unloading the CROWDED thoughts o my mind..
slowly i was able to correct the wrong things i’ve done. i know what i did will never be erased on the minds of the people who knows, but time heals right?
looking back, i can’t stop myself from asking what went through my mind. what i did was something really out of my league. it may be said that “we are the captain of our lives” but few months ago, my life was beyond my control.
it makes me ashamed. it decreases my confidence. plus the fact that, first impressions lasts..
sometimes, i wanted to be invisible. sometimes i just wanted to stay inside our room (the room i shared with elijah). sometimes i just wanted to die..
but since i can’t turn back time, i’m here keeping my silence. trying to absorb all the pain whenever i hear the “talks” about me. i did it and i must be able to face the consequences of my actions. hoping that everything will die out fast..
i don’t want to reason out that i’m feeling rebellious after what happened to me roughly 11 months ago. i just fell in love. but then, in a wrong place, in a wrong time and with the wrong persons..
i’ve learned my lessons hard enough and is surely is enough to keep me silent..
I’m all alone since you walked away as i begged for you to stay you decided to leave me behind. It hurts to think that our love didn’t last we build it up to watch it fall. Watch it fall down..
Well even though we moved our separate ways my love for you is still the same. My heart still beats your name.
I wish you’ll hear me singing. Singing this song for you and let you know that i’m still - still longing for your love. I wish you’ll hear me singing. Singing this song for you and let you know that i’m still - still breathing, still need you. I wish you were here with me..
I paid the price, i gave the best of me but i couldn’t give you what you need. So you turned and walked away. It hurts to think that our love didn’t last. We build it up to watch it fall. Watch it fall down..
Cause i can’t live without your love.
I can’t live without your love.
I wish you were here with me..
maybe i miss him so badly..
for some reason, i woke up this morning around 4:35. then i cried. i dreamt about HIM. i was forcing myself to go back to sleep, but i can’t. for a while i was happy. i wished for that dream to come true. but i know it won’t, no matter how many times will i wish for it.
God i still love HIM, really really love HIM. i thought i was already okay. i was not thinking about it anymore. i was not thinking about HIM anymore. but the reverse is happening. i keep on falling for HIM even more..
i’m going crazy..
i’ve never been scared in my whole life after knowing that i could possibly lose my sight in my left eye because of that infection. i could not help but cry in front of doctor dionio..
i suffered for almost a month. i miss work and most importantly, i missed the much awaited chairman’s cup..
but then, thank God. im okay now. not totally well but okay..
