walking in the dark

a single text kept me awake from 3:35 am, onwards - the reason why i’m really not on the mood to do anything..

could i confirm that i’m still in love with him? or was it just my ego?

i hate it. i wanted to keep my silence once more. but these little things that kept coming my way matters..

i have sworn. now i will swear again..

not this year. i hope that next year will be better. i hope next year i’ll be luckier. i hope next year i won’t have these regrets..

i already had enough. could i at least take a break?

false alarms.

it has always been a false alarm. the first one was certainly not anticipated. the second one was plain stupidity.

but both are false alarms.

damn!

i have this facebook account and i would always be hooked up answering these quizzes. what a waste of time right? but hell. i have to kill time or else i’d be dead..

i took this quiz. i was just curious as usual. “what’s the first letter of the guy/girl you’d fall in love with?”

result: A

hahaha. i can’t help but let out a laugh. who’s that A?

i’m over it. i’m over about everything that has to do with love. i’m really over it.. FOR NOW..

i was healed but yet i’ve let myself be wounded again for reasons that i even saw as very stupid. i’ve been impulsive again..

but yet i can’t stop myself from asking who’s that A?

i wanted to write an entry in tagalog but could not figure out the right words to write or say..

all i know is that i’m lost and could not figure out what to do. i’m not even in the mood to talk to anyone (i guess sir ariel even felt bad when i refused to make his reuqest). i could not even understand the report i’m doing..

it’s this damn person who made me this way..

i felt like i’m walking to nowhere..

i watched this movie yesterday. my sister highly recommends this movie and at last i was able to catch it yesterday..

it’s losing yourself in the process of loving and in order to find yourself, you have take the sacrifice of letting go..

i wanted to cry. but i can’t. i remember HIM. i remember what happened to US. its real sad..

i tried to fix it. but he won’t let me..

i miss HIM. really i do..

i let myself fall, thinking it would be different..

i day-dreamed a lot. i’ve been happy.

but i’ve drowned..

and continue to drown deep..

i was reading this text message the other other day: top 10 reasons for being single. i can’t help but supress a smile. the top one rason was: “claimed that you have moved on but you’re still in-love with your ex..”

hah! did i lie to myself? i don’t. but march 1 came and i have thought about him. weird. i almost forgot about him when mark came. or was it just denial?

but the thought of him doesn’t excite me anymore. a good sign! i applaude myself for that.  but there’s something wrong i know..

it’s amazing how sometimes we could still find the things we’ve lost..

i wonder if he would ever noticed that he LOST me, and would also take time to find me..

but i knew it, he won’t..

i still believe in love..

i still believe in fairy tales..

i still believe in happily ever after..

funny how i would listen to the song mad by ne-yo, everynight before i sleep. i even set my player in a loop mode, with that only song playing over and over again.^^

this line really sinks in into me: “this love ain’t going perfect, we can fuss, we can fight, long as everything’s alright before we go to sleep..” really sweet right? coming from a guy.

i know it would be valentines day again tomorrow and i could not get mad because i don’t have someone to date. hahaha. as if it’s a big problem!^^ well, i’m used to it. i have been alone, since i learned how to fall in love (something so deep, huh?)..^^

this is my destiny. but i really couldn’t get MAD.^^